Dear Lonely Planet
Dear Lonely Planet
I am a big fan of your Lonely Planet guides but for a long time now I have noticed a gap in your range and I feel that I can rectify this. You currently have no Lonely Planet Penrith guide and I was wondering if you would commission me to write one? I have made a mock up cover for you to look at below.
I feel that Penrith is a major attraction for both domestic and international tourists, we have over 10 different pubs and our Westfields shopping centre is absolutely massive! Westfields actually added a whole new section a couple of years ago and there is a JB Hi Fi in it, as well as a Dick Smiths and a Hogs Breath Café.
Penrith and it’s suburbs also boast 6 Subway outlets, so visitors can always eat fresh. The Northern Road is also a notable attraction as you can hit speeds of up to 70 kms on it (except between school traffic times when you pass St Doms Boys School when you have to do 40 kms).
Penrith is also well known for it’s multiculturalism. We have three separate Indian restaurants and one of them even has a goat dish. We also have a wide range of Chinese restaurants, most of whom offer a take-away or delivery service. Anyone who walks down High Street in Penrith will be hard pressed to deny Penrith’s credibility as a hub of multicultural experience!
Obviously this is all just the tip of the iceberg, or as people in Penrith like to say “There’s heaps more to it, ay.” Please let me know if you are interested in this idea as I don’t think it will take me very long to write. I have not offered my Penrith-guide expertise to DK Eyewitness guides yet as I think Lonely Planet is the best.
Originally published in the zine Collected Letters #2
i'm having a party for people who can't ejaculate. let me know if you can't come.
Re: Dear Lonely Planet
i love seeing people [particularly middle-aged and retired persons] on holidays [even package ones!] striding around with their precious Lonely Planet tucked under their wing like an orb of force-field that then shall protect them from all things unsightly and troublesome that may occur on their journey.
One time i witnessed some whiteys thrusting their volume at some intense street hawkers, like it was a holy cross and the hawkers were vampires [well they kind of are sometime ha].
Re: Dear Lonely Planet
Did they mess up your name, or was it a sneaky alias?
Also, the mock cover looks like a B&W scan, but what colours were you planning to use to represent Penriff?
Re: Dear Lonely Planet
they messed up the name.
the image was originally in colour, but for some dumb reason I made it into B+W for printing (not that it makes any difference, hence why it was dumb).
Re: Dear Lonely Planet
I reckon this idea could be a go-er again if you resubmit it and mention how Penrith is now the Venice of Western Sydney
Re: Dear Lonely Planet
lol